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Welcome To Dr. Tate's Corner


August - Self-Pity.jpg

Self-pity in its early stages is as snug as a feathermattress. Only when it hardens does it become uncomfortable.

- Maya Angelou

Welcome fellow travelers and seekers of peace, happiness and truth.

Of all human emotions, perhaps the most useless and destructive is self-pity. Webster’s definition of self-pity is: excessive, self-absorbed unhappiness over one's own troubles. I know, been there, done that. When we fall into the depression of self-pity, we allow it to take control of our lives. We become completely self-absorbed. It is destructive to dwell on negative events and carry that bitterness and resentment forward. When we keep our focus on the hurt, we aren’t focused on taking control of our lives.

Bottom line, self-pity is a choice. I remember my professor share with the class, ‘Our future depends on the chances we take and the choices we make. Here are 11 signs that you are chronically self-pity.

1. You find it hard to laugh at life and at yourself.
2. You tend to crave for drama.
3. You tend to crave for sympathy.
4. You tend to be an individualist.
5. You tend to be a past-orientated person.
6. You have low self-esteem.
7. You have a melancholic temperament.
8. DEEP down, you don’t believe you’re worthy of love.
9. You have an unhealthy habit of being self-absorbed.
10. You have a strong fighting instinct.
11. You subconsciously feel guilty.


What follows, as Maya Angelou tells us, is sadness. Make an effort not to share your burdens of self-pity on yourself or those you love. Examine why you lapse into that kind of debilitating pity the next time you feel it coming on.

We're In This Together

Donald ‘Dr. D.’ Tate

Let’s Work Together

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